Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Insider Report on the Credit Crunch

I just recently read that foreclosures are starting to cause trouble beyond the confines of the subprime mortgages.

To investigate this phenomenon, your erstwhile blogger recently met a disguised banker in trench coat and dark glasses in a shady roadside diner. How, I asked, did all this happen, and what's the likely effect.

The banker whispered over to me ... "I can tell you, but I have to speak in code. Here, you can use this keyword code card afterwords to figure out the analogy I'm about to give you."

"Our money wizards assured our bank executives that this new lending would be like driving a new CAR, and that we'd be FASHIONable everywhere. We were even handed a nice clean MAP.

Unfortunately, it seemed like we ended up driving too fast, and a CRASH ensued. We looked around, and there was nothing but a WRECK left.

In the end, my friend, I don't want to tell you what our balance and income statements will look like, because I respect you too much to BORE you with all the details."

The banker glanced around, and quickly stole away. I was left scratching my head, until I remembered the keyword code card he'd handed me. I looked at it:

  • CAR = Careful Assessment of Realty
  • FASHION = Forward Appreciation Stereotyped High In Our Nation
  • MAP = Mortgage Applicants Poor
  • CRASH = Crisis Revolves Around Suspect Homeowners
  • WRECK = Wobbly Realty Eviscerating Capital Keepers
  • BORE = Bank Owns Real Estate
Now it all made sense ... reporting from the front lines of the credit crunch, I remain, yours truly, the Confused Capitalist.


The Confused Capitalist

    1 comment:

    Steve Ballmer said...

    Money is good, too much debt is bad